WARNING:
FIREWORKS ARE DANGEROUS!
 

Friends,  Ole Cuzz got in the jail for selling whiskey to minors and smoking in a firecracker factory so he’s took to providing quality merchandise in a fancy web store of quality action stuff.  All Ole Cuzz’s prices always include shipping within the confidental United States. How bout that now!   Ole Cuzz will take care of ye.

 

***** DIRECTIONS ON HOW TO ORDER AT BOTTOM *****  

 

SNAKE~DANCE ~ The CD: The Tennessee KingSnake Debut CD.

Snake~Dance registers a trip, hoot, and a genuine howl on the Rockter Scale.  Lots of hot moving tunes for ya. Gets spooky too....$12.00
Includes Tax & Shipping. It'll rock ye in hill fashion.

 

CASSETTE" Bringing that traveling music to the highway with yall hunh?  Well, uh... JAM ON! ....B Cassette Tape.......$12.00

(Item 3)

ODELL HOTEL does UNDERGROUND NATIONAL ARCHIVES

IGNO PAK: Big 6 Volume 2)

Bold and twisted stories of draino vapor coal country, redneck astronauts, and touch-nuclear football, seem to set an off balance world right again. Compiled in this NEW, convenient "Igno-Pak" are 6 reality warping audial experiments assigned to test for critical cranial tolerance. Not cybernetic snake oil or that after 12 jazz, O'Dell Hotel will cast you FREE to the glory land with soul shifting sensations, feet still here on earth! The whole schmear....... $50 Bucks! NOTE: It aint worth it, but thats what it costs. You get Tales of the Hive, The Legend of Jurri Huskee, BigFoot, Butch Sessions, Voice of America, and Hotel After Hours. Hummm.... mite be cuul.

 

Chill Pills: Pills, Pills, Pills, Finally, here’s the proper medication for the hyperactive jackasses we seek so desperately to quell. Congressional strength and non-coated, These chill pills are formulated for todays powerfull stresses. Two and a glass of wine, will work... for ye.... Bottle of 50.... $5.00. Great for the office. (novelty medicine bottle and candy) WARNING: These damn pills stank, but effective.

(Watch for Radar Rudy’s Metallic Lip Balm)


TENNESSEE KINGSNAKE EARRINGS

Sterling Silver Tennessee King Snake Snake Ear Rings:

 Native American artist. Squiggly looking ~ 2.5 inches long ~ sensuous curving ~ only for those punched out ears.

Got-to-have for Snake Dancing ~$22.00. Gift Box add $1.25   

WARNING: Look out for lightning.

 
TALES OF THE HIVE: KingSnake hillbilly brother "Little Sodi" tells the Tales of the Hive, and These Bugs. Set in a fort sander’s slum, he narrates these here rancid fables that illustrate the plight of four irradated hilbillies looking to hovel. Experience as they did the psychological war with the powerful rental skag, and the unearthly shock waiting for them at the HIVE! WARNING: Alternative Humor Brown Bag Cassette Tape:...........$7.95
 

 

Item 6)
Chief Smoking Gene's
Indian Gun Powder
  Dig ye some-o-this here Chief Smoking Gene’s Blasting powder specially designed fo Chili. De-light-ful flavor, won’t let you down neither... Big Guns or Refunds all natural: 3.5 oz........ $3.49(Ole Cuzz southwest connection)

Ole Cuzz knows what women like....

 

 

TENNESSEE KINGSNAKE LOVE BEADS   Love is not dead, let it show, and let these lovely beads flow, you know.... around your neck in standard Kingsnake~Like colors. Red against black is a friend of jack. Red against yellow will kill a fellow as it is said in pre-king, and post-snakeal rehearsal talkology. $12.00.
   

 

Terrorist Cookbook of the Ninties: With excerpts from the US Army Chemical Warfare Training Manual. Recipes for some of the most dastardly doins ever to hit a hick pick nick. VooDoo munitions & demon delicacies such as: Power Projection Beans, The Day After Deviled Eggs, Texas Chain Saw Chili, and instructions on military style delivery techniques. A gas at your next party. Great as a GAG gift. $8.95.

(example of the BS inside)

   
Item 9)
GAG POSTER PACK: This gag poster pack is what the world has been waiting for. It’ll make yee gagg. Bio-Hazard warnings for your roomate’s refridgerator, Ad for removing VooDoo curses, Keep out of Jail poster, "Go Back to Communizm Now! while there’s still time." Tag a friend’s auto window with Red-Neck Sighting Marker, "Listen to Fresh Bullshit Only", 10 posters and cutouts for fun and relaxation, great for office at the Ole Cuzz price of $10.95
   
Item 10)
HOW TO MAKE G00D WHUSKEY HANDBOOK: By Ole Cuzz.
Ole Cuzz wuddun wasting his time sitting on his ass in the jail. He’s got ye clear details of how to go about making some of the finest Tennessee Corn Likuor’e that ever been drank in drawin’s and even recipes, whuskey still illegal though. Idees on how to ramp up the alkeehol content in damn the stuff ... CHECKIT: Secret Ancient Fire Water recipe! Takes a while...to get the best... hit over 200 proof!..........$8.95 (Yankee Favorite*)
 

Item 11)

THE WEENER MIND OFFICIAL RULES BOOK: Here it is in plain english! The official rules book for the weener mind game originating from the Atomic City. Also variations on the game such as Weener Ball, and Weener Fireball! $4.75

 

 

 

 

 

 


 

 

 

 

 

 

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HOW TO ORDER: Please indicate quanities of each item. Cuzz aint got esp, caint see all that well. Use Item number if theres any doubt. Come on now, there a bunch of kids up par needs feediní.

Come on now... Them kids are a-starvin. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
To Order... Inquire with Name, Address, City, State, (If within USA) Zip Code, item number - quanity, electrickitchen@tds.net

Thankee Now!
OLE CUZZ NOTE: I’d like to thank yall for coming into to my fine store, I know this aint a store whur you can sit around and play checkers and eat slim jims, still a place business. ~ it’s just for folks that mess with those computers you see. Yall can thank these damn boize for hooking up this little dill. Up there in the trees with wires and shit. Yall bear with me... Someday I’ll have my whuskey liscense, and won’t smoke in a fireworks factory no more.

HAVE YOU SEEN DOWNSTAIRS?

 

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